MEET MOSHE BLOORIAN AND FRIENDS

This is Moshe Bloorian, founder of GreyHill Group, and self-annointed investment rock star. GreyHill is a real estate acquisition powerhouse, and the media fawns over Moshe like he has reinvented the laws of mathematics. GreyHill has scooped up millions of dollars worth of property in New York and adjacent states at a sizzling pace, and his company represents the new American landlord sweeping the nation. 

 What makes Moshe such a phenom is  that he has stumbled upon a new type of investment that is about as close to the Holy Grail as you can get:  how to guarantee a high rate of return with almost no risk. And He can do in three years what the market takes at least five to do, and he's not even thirty. How does he do it?

By stealing from the Sicilians who have been doing it for centuries because the mob invented it. It's called the art of the strong arm.

Here's how Moshe describes it:

At Greyhill Group, our primary focus is on yield (cash flow), seeking stabilized assets that generate consistent income at the time of acquisition. We then concentrate on implementing strategies to create substantial value, enabling us to ultimately exit and recoup our equity.

Remember Good Fellas, when Sonny Bunz, the hapless restaurant owner who Pesci's character Tommy kicked in the ass when he asked him to pay his tab? 

And he has to grovel for Paulie's help? 

It's the famous Fuck You Pay Me scene that explains how Good Fellas make their money. Paulie becomes his "partner," which means 

The reason why having GreyHill as your landlord is like having Paul Cicero as your business partner is because both are the beneficiaries of indentured servitudes of their own creation. How GreyHill does it by shifting the profit of real estate investment from the appreciation of the value of land to the ability of tenants to pay rent.  

Problems with the heat? They can go to GreyHill.

Problems with raw sewage all over the floors? They can go to Greyhill. 

Want modern living? Go to GreyHill. And they will pay the rent, every month, no matter what.

Kid got sick and you can't pay rent? Fuck you, pay me.

Car broke down? Hours cut? School clothes? Christmas presents? Fuck you, pay me.

Ok, that's obviously satire. Here's what they really do:

"Any problems, he can go to Paulie. Trouble with the bill, he can go to Paulie, but now the guy's got to come up with Paulie's money every month, no matter what."

JACK THE RENT TO PAY BACK THE LOANS THEY BORROWED FROM THEIR CREDITORS, WHOM THEY CALL INVESTORS. 

But they are not really investors, because investments carry risk. Moshe's investments have no risk because the rent they collect that is their sole source of profit is a contractual obligation; it's a guarantee, which means that their investors are more like bankers who loan them credit. And tenants are not like other consumers in the open market with the power to exert their demand muscles and force price competition. The housing supply is not as responsive as, say iPhone or Playstation production, and renters' ability to control the demand for it involves a roof over their heads or a bridge. The balance is heavily lop-sided towards landlords, and that is why people like Moshe Bloorian and his company GreyHill are gobbling up every building in sight.