GREYHILL: IN A COMA OR STILL IN THE WOMB

Catching GreyHill, known as Green Oaks at my complex, in a lie was easier than catching Herpes, and they started the minute they set their city shoes on country soil. If you read GreyHill's description of themselves, as basically God's gift to real estate, you understand that they were not just too confident in their skills, but they were either delusional or professional prevaricators. They were both.

COMPREHENSIVE IN-HOUSE EXPERTISE

When Green Oaks took over in 2018, or 2019, New York had just passed comprehensive landlord-tenant reform bills that dominated the news throughout the pandemic, which enacted many new protections for tenants. Word of these reforms spread fast and to not know about the changes to the law means you were either in a coma or a womb. Not only did they not know the new laws, they didn’t even know the existing ones. They are so arrogant, so entitled, so negligent, and so fucking stupid that the leases they passes around (to all but I) were not residential leases at all -they were wholesale transfers of liability from them to us.  A full fifty percent of the terms were flat out illegal and these self-professed experts knew about as much about rental property as they did about neurosurgery.  

During one of my battles with them, they sent me a five-day notice that my rent was late, by email, to my mother. In a moment of pity, I sent them proper instructions, to which they replied, to a lawyer, who specializes in evictions, that they were getting ready to evict, "we will take your recommendations in consideration." A disregard for the law on a level I  don’t even see in criminals, without even a soupcon  of shame.


IMPLEMENTING STRATEGIES TO CREATE SUBSTANTIAL VALUE

1. Renovations: paint, rugs, tiling

    a. No central air: window units from 1972

    b. Countertops are not granite: they are fake plastic imitation sheeting

    c. Kitchen floors plastic laminate

3. Mow the lawn before knee height 

4. Fill pot holes

5. Sealcoat driveway without roping it off and tenants walk through wet tar and track it all over the carpets

6. Repaint dilapidated storage sheds


ADDED VALUE: $300 rental increase monthly x 30 = $9,000/month

BENEFIT TO TENANT: $0

    1. No gym

    2. No pool

    3. No 24-hr maintenance

    4. No landscaping


TOTAL RE-BRANDING

1. Erect sign that says "Modern Living"

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

MEET MOSHE BLOORIAN AND FRIENDS

Image
This is Moshe Bloorian, founder of GreyHill Group, and self-annointed investment rock star. GreyHill is a real estate acquisition powerhouse, and the media fawns over Moshe like he has reinvented the laws of mathematics. GreyHill has scooped up millions of dollars worth of property in New York and adjacent states at a sizzling pace, and his company represents the new American landlord sweeping the nation.   What makes Moshe such a phenom is  that he has stumbled upon a new type of investment that is about as close to the Holy Grail as you can get:  how to guarantee a high rate of return with almost no risk. And He can do in three years what the market takes at least five to do, and he's not even thirty. How does he do it? By stealing from the Sicilians who have been doing it for centuries because the mob invented it. It's called the art of the strong arm. Here's how Moshe describes it: At Greyhill Group, our primary focus is on yield (cash flow), seeking stabilized ...
Read more

GreyHill: Crimes of Ineptitude

GreyHill is so inept as to be criminal. They have no interest in putting any real money into the "distressed" properties they buy beyond the purely cosmetic because they have no plans to stay. They are parasitic invaders posing as property managers. They couldn't manage a lemonade, so when tenants at Green Oaks in Ballston Lake suffered for six full days without power and the summer rains caused four inches of  flooding in the first floor units because the antiquated septic system and its faulty construction, of which GreyHill was on notice of and for which I was evicted, could not handle the output of building 19 under dry conditions, let alone torrential downpours, their negligence was directly responsible.  GreyHill bought our place in a fire sale, overpaid by a million, and dispensed with formalities like an inspection. Must be because of their "local market expertise." So when shit water regurgitated itself into my hallway with regularity, like it did with ...
Read more